Wow, that can be a little scary.
I mean, who’s truth?
I am quick with the ‘truths’ I see in you, what you might change, how you might be better, do better… blah… blah.
But what is that saying about me? Do I have the courage to sit with the reflection of what I see or say?
Am I willing to recognize myself in that person, at that moment?
Can I do anything to change it?
Just for the record, reflection, as I’m using it, is not a denigration of self. It is the capacity to see oneself without judgement. Accountability strengthens me. And the funny (not haha) thing is that a split-second emotional reaction can be the buzzing neon sign pointing out a thing I could learn about Me. If I’m fixated on you, well, I’m wasting the precious time and energy I could be using in this life to grow.
Accountability is the thing that tills my inner soil. With newly turned soil I am able to feel the seeds of mis-guided projections and perceptions sown in my long ago past. Today one of them broke through. As her metaphorical little green head crested through a crack in my heart, I couldn’t deny her any longer. I had to accept the truth that something I said to someone wasn’t in my integrity. Where did it come from? This was mine, not theirs. Their role had nothing to do with my reaction. I tussled with that for a second or two, then… I got it. This is my dirty porch to sweep, no one else’s.
Yep, telling the truth to myself can be the hardest of all.
I would have to admit to my smallness, my fears, my hidden agendas in the presence of the one being judged, into whose life I had inserted my opinion, who’s personal authority I may have knee-capped. Whoa, scary stuff. And yet, accountability is the only road left for me to walk. As I write, feelings of tenderness and self-acceptance are settling in. Baby steps. Growth, I remind myself, happens when one is ready. Today I was ready.
Grabbing up my phone, I called. Truth seemed to envelop us through the vibratory frequency of intention. I owned my behavior. We were both able to speak of our fears, realize our very human silliness, share a chuckle, let it all go, and start over.
My actions have added a new layer of conscious understanding, while my words have given new direction to the unfolding trajectory of my life.
Whew! Truth seems to be the best-lit path home.
Let your heart teach your thoughts to speak the words that reveal your authentic truth. Sweet mystery! This essence of you reverberates into infinity.
